I have become slightly acquainted to the truth of existence, work and authenticity.
The path of spiritual growth of all things involves starting out in a state of affirmation, entering and passing through a state of negation, and from thence entering a state of superaffirmation, which is at the same time a return to the first state of simple affirmation. Thus things only reach to their full potential in their negation, which is to say more specifically, a life-or-death encounter, a conflict, a battle, a war with their diametrical opposite, which threatens to destroy them, and from that encounter emerging victorious. This is what I call to be “tempered by the furnace”; in the struggle of wrestling with one’s own negation, one becomes stronger and is able to reassert one’s self with a new vivacity, returning to the affirmation of the self. What this means, is that the negation is an essential component, a critical moment, that makes it possible for the affirmation to truly be affirmed in reality, and not in theory or conception. This line of thinking is, on its own, nothing new; it is not much of a modifcation of Hegel, except that it is a true treatment of Hegel, taking him at his own word; and in that, we arrive at something which is greater than the thought of Hegel, that completes his thought, and, in turn, brings it to its full potential.
That is because what all this means is that the self can only truly be affirmed by being negated. I can only truly act authentically, and authentically be myself, when I negate myself, and in that way am not myself. Self-negation is an essential phase, a critical moment that leads to self-affirmation; if I myself do not temper myself in the furnace, that is to say, face off with my own negation of myself, I do not truly get to be myself. Only is my concept of self strengthened and invigorated, and given true life and true form, by passing through that shadow realm, where my self is negated and brought to the brink of destruction. I think that this is the reason why Buddhism holds the notion of anatman to be true. Nirvana is the extinguishment, not of existence, but of the self; it is the full realization and accomplishment of anatman, the realization that my self does not exist. And in that, in passing through that self-negation and realization of anatman, I become truly myself, and am able to act in the most authentic way, and in that sense I truly exist, with a new power and vivacity that I did not possess before this realization.
The word realization, however, implies both a coming to understand (or gaining of the heart, kokoroeru) of a thing, and the putting into practice of a thing (as literally, realizing, “to make real”, lit. “to make into a thing”). Therefore to merely understand that the self does not exist, and to think my self to not exist, is not enough. One must also practice this principle, and put it to work in one’s real life.
The idea of action in the real world is inextricably tied up with the idea of work, or labor. As Nishitani says, (and here I don’t know how much is his own thought or an interpretation of Heidegger, whom I have not read yet) our being is being in both a place and a time, and in its being as a being in time it is extruded along the dimension of time, and therefore involves contortions, transformations and inflections along that dimension of time. This means that we are only existing in time and existing in general in that we are doing things, that is, in that we are doing work, and changing ourselves and the world around us. I reject the modern notion of work as something you do for a certain number of hours at some company’s office. Work is natural to all things that exist, and all things that exist only exist in that they are doing work. Working in that sense is the same as breathing; if one stops working, just as if one stops breathing, one might as well not be living, existing. Whether one is doing physical exercise or labor, or mental as in reading or learning, or some creative pursuit or craft that involves working with the hands or with either fine or gross movements, one is doing work. What we do becomes what we are. Since work is being, authenticity in being requires an authenticity in one’s doing things, or an authenticity in work.
Remember, the true realization of the authentic self is only possible through self-negation. And as we have mentioned above, existence is inextricably tied up with work. This means, in order to be authentic in our being, we must be authentic in our work, and, just as authenticity of being is only possible through self-negation, authenticity in work is likewise only possible through self-negation. When we do our work, we must completely forget ourselves. We must not think about what we will think of the outcome, or what others will think of it, but only do it. This is the basic formula, but it is vague and alone it is not enough. We must also consider the completed product of our work in itself and our relation to that product. The relation of one to the product of one’s work is usually understood as an attachment of one’s name to that product, in order that when others see it, they will know whose deeds these were. In attaching our names to our works, we are polluting them with the future intention of having others associate our work with ourselves and spreading our name and fame in that way. This intention polluted by the seeking of fame erodes the authenticity of the work, which, to be truly authentic, must have its intention within itself (exist for itself). Because it doesn’t pass through the shadow realm of self-negation, it cannot be truly authentic.
Thus the most authentic work is the anonymous work. It is the work that one has poured one’s heart and soul into, exerted hundreds to thousands of hours of physical or mental labor, the whole time with the full understanding and acceptance of the fact that one will never receive any credit for the work. In creating an anonymous work, or doing anonymous deeds, one is putting self-negation into practice. When one does not care whether or not one will even be associated by others with the finished product, knowing he will receive no credit for its merits, nor criticism for its defects, one is able to put one’s fullest effort and authentic intention into the work. This is true not only for creative works, but for any and all forms of labor, whether physical or mental. Even raking leaves behaves according to these formulae. When there is a name attached to a deed, one cannot help but wonder, and indeed cannot no matter what dispel the doubt or fear, that the deed was done merely to boost the fame or reputation of the doer. By engaging in anonymous work, one is able to do deeds which do not have this doubt attached to them, and that way the deeds become purified, and can truly be considered authentic expressions of the nameless self. An anonymous deed has this form of credit built into it. I prove to you that my deeds were authentic, that I had no ulterior intentions of seeking fame, by abstaining from attaching my name to them and thereby forfeiting any and all fame that may come by them.
This will inevtiably bring a man into great conflict with himself. The self never wants to be negated. Man will, upon hearing of these formulae, rack his brains, thinking, “but what is the point of doing anything, if I should receive no credit whatsoever? It is as if I am wasting my labor.” A true waste of labor is a labor that does not accomplish what it sought out to accomplish; as long as the end is achieved, regardless if there is a name attached or not, is it truly a waste of labor? Does the lack of a name really harm the work? Of course not, it is only a matter of ego. We revel in hearing the praises of people when they give us credit for our deeds; that is human nature, and there is nothing wrong with it. But when we come face-to-face with our negation, and entertain this dilemma in our heads, we are engaging in a battle. We are entering the forge to be tempered. Most cannot make it through, cannot dispense of the appetite for validation by others. But some will think, “I will indeed receive no credit for this, but I do not care! I will do it anyway.” This is the attitude of the Chad. He doesn’t care about what others think, and in not caring about what others think, he is practicing self-negation. His deeds and his works will be infinitely more authentic than anything made for the purpose of seeking fame. And in that infinite authenticity, his self, which has created these anonymous works, has attained a true form of existence, which is purified by self-negation.
There is a reason why many of the great ancient literary works were written anonymously. While Homer wrote down the Illiad and Odyssey, who knows who originated them. All folklore, and the infinite trove of truth they contain, is anonymous, as were the classical Indian works of literature. They were originally not even written down (for, as I believe, writing things down with letters has a similar polluting affect as attaching names, which the ancients must have understood), but merely composed by anonymous sages and passed down orally. They transcend the individual and become truly universal works.
I have heard that in Japanese culture there is the belief that one has three faces: one that is shown even to strangers, one that is shown only to ones friends and family, and one that is never shown to anybody. In that third face lies the true, most authentic form of the self. The self as it exists and what it does when nobody is watching. But, in that most authentic version of the self, there is also present the element of self-negation, for nothing that exists in that inner world, none of the thoughts there, nor the words one says or the deeds one does when nobody is around, have any name attached to them; they won’t even be beheld by anyone in the first place. The self is robbed of its validation, of its selfness, and yet carries on existing anyway, continuing to think and to do. It is purified. That is why it is the most authentic version of the self.
This is not a proper article like I usually do, but just an informal composition from my journal. I hope the reader will enjoy it all the same
